What International Womyn's Day Means to Me

Its International Womyn’s Day today, March 8^th, 2016 and the celebrations of what this day means to womyn are abound; which I think are awesome! Yep, celebrate that we can give birth, celebrate that we are sisters, mothers, daughters, lawyers, bankers, fisher-womyn and thieves (I am being a wee bit sarcastic here as I allude to a famous skipping rhyme). If you can guess from my sarcasm, there is a part of me that questions what it means; this day of womyn? What does it hint at especially when there are murdered and missing indigenous womyn in Canada that go unnoticed?  I worry for my daughter and granddaughter. I worry about all womyn in a world that often seems to not notice us.

I was sexually abused, raped, beaten, almost killed (yes this is true), told that I was stupid, that I should just keep my mouth shut, that I didn’t need to go to back to school to get another degree and should stay home to take care of my children, and put down to make men feel better about themselves.  The majority of these men were and are Anishinabek.  A horrible truth but a truth nonetheless.  I want to thank them (yea I know, weird eh) because as much as they silenced me in what they did to me, it was only for a moment in time and it enabled me to realize how strong I really was. Yes, it did hurt for a bit; the silencing of my voice. I still cry at the memory of how, through the tremendous pain and shame, that my voice almost disappeared.  If not for the those who built me up, whispered to me that they loved to hear my voice in song and prayer, believed in what I spoke about and supported me in my growth as a being (and womyn) in this world, then I don’t think I could have endured it all; this being a womyn.  It’s a toughness within the softness that womyn are gifted.  By this I mean we are capable of carrying life and giving birth and thereby enduring great pain to push love into a world that often does not love back.  Even if we don’t carry life, we are still gifted as womyn; our bodies are designed to tell us we are.

Men have and continue to oppress womyn.  The patriarchal, male dominant system we live in continues to place men above womyn no matter how far we think we have advanced in years.  This type of thinking has infiltrated into Anishinabek culture and has created an unbalance amongst us which we don’t realize or want to realize are hidden in our teachings.  Patriarchal systems in our teachings are colonial and oppressive; we need to tease out what isn’t to oppressive and patriarchal in order find balance again, in order for our womyn to be safe and equal again. There are many who will argue with me over what I have just stated and that is okay; we need to argue to understand.  Agreeing to disagree is a great way to move ahead when no one answer will suffice a questioning mind. 

While we are on the topic of oppression, I do have to add that womyn can also be detrimental to each other; it’s known as relational aggression and it too is oppressive and stems very much from a patriarchal society. It happens to all womyn as we are taught by Western Society from a very young age to put each other down, to diminish the other womyn’s voice in order to succeed in life.  It is akin to the crab in the bucket syndrome where when one rises to the top there is always someone ready to pull you down.  Society is sneaky, oh yes it is!  Little girls who learn “the pecking order” (which I find offensive just in writing it) grow to womyn who perpetuate that order.  We in turn are violent in other ways that aren’t physical; while men may appear the better at overtly harming us, womyn covertly do it. It’s a truth that needs to stop.  So where am I going with this line of thinking?

In my teachings I have come to understand that we are all equal; no more or no less than the other.  As human beings we are equal to that of the animals and all living beings around us.  We exist together in balance.  Just because an animal cannot speak or do as we do as human beings does not mean that we are more superior.  This superior type of thinking makes one’s head heavy and when one gets too heavy in the head then an unbalance occurs which is known as Akozi.  Yes, there is a lot of unbalance in the world but does that me we should place ourselves above another because of it? No.  Men who are taught (the ones who carry the teachings) that womyn are to be lifted up, that womyn are life givers and understand that without us that there would be no life, know of the balance of womyn. If you look deeper into this teaching, while womyn may appear elevated above men it is the understanding that womyn should be.  There is no power in this elevation; it is about balance.  

Here is a story that I will leave you that helps me understand International Womyn’s day despite all of what I have said to be true.

Quite some time ago, I was gifted with stories of how the drum was given to man by womyn. The short version is that womyn made and gave the drum to man to help him heal.  And as man heals, She stands behind the big drum to support man in her singing/praying. Her voice brings up man when his voice is too low.   Womyn also carry hand drums (men too).  She sings and prays with the hand drum to remind men and children of the path they are meant to follow.  Some may follow it from the moment they are born, but others will always need a reminder through the drum. Womyn take on this role to support men so that balance can happen; that we all live a good way of life. It often takes very strong womyn to do this as others (even womyn) will challenge womyn who sing/pray with drums (this is due to the patriarchal systems at play).  I sing/pray with my hand drum.  My voice is strong and can be heard by many without a microphone. It took a while for my voice to be heard this way, even by me.  International Womyn’s day means to me that our voices, no matter what others try to do to it, will grow. Our voices matter as they provide the balance the Creator meant the world to have.

Miigwech.

Carrianne