The story behind it all
How I become known as the Northern Ojibwe Cougar or "Cougar" for short
I didn't start off that way; not as a cougar. As you can see from my picture on the left, I was a cute, little pumpkin sitter. Okay, I was a pumpkin sitter who showed signs of rebellion from an early age, why else would I be sitting on a pumpkin! Well, I could give many reasons, but I was always known, even from birth, as the odd one out, the one who had to follow her own path and blaze a trail of fire behind it.
As an adult that didn't go away; the need to blaze my own path and create fire. I know I don't like to do what everyone else is doing and have often been called a shit disturber (and some other not so nice terms) because of this. The best one so far that describes me to a tee is one that was provided to me by a healer - a Windigo Kaan ( a contrary).
Contraries are needed in the world to provide balance. We ask questions when others don't, we do things that others find strange and in what we do, we bring out the truths in what others take for a truth but are really false. We show that there are other ways other than the one that they always see. Sometimes it works out in our favour being a contrary but most of the time, others see us as the shit disturber who won't leave well enough alone. People like societal norms; heaven forbid you mess with societal norms! (I hope no one starts to shoot stones at me now for saying that....like really?) People often don't want to see the truth and get really upset if you show it to them. Hey, we are only being who we were born to be, don't get mad at us please....okay get mad but then do something about it.
Anyway, on with my story. I was in a bar with my niece one night (I don't drink but I do like to go out and dance), and this young man comes up to me and asks me if I want to go with him. I look at him and say I don't want to go out with him but he is persistent and a wee bit drunk. After numerous attempts to sway him, I finally say "Hey buddy, I am old enough to be your mother". He laughs and says I am not. I respond by telling him that I am 38 years old and he looked a grand total of 19. He denies I am 38 and says to prove it. So out comes my proof; my handy dandy drivers' license that tells people my true age (like it is the bible of age..lol). He looks at it and says "NO, it can't be!" Aha! Yes it can be! Thinking that this new truth will set me free from him, he turns to me and says "That's okay, I like older womyn anyway". Really? Really now? So I respond the only way I know how "Well, you may like older womyn, but I don't like babysitting, sorry". And from there it started, well, it took off from there. No, I did not go out with the young man, but I did get teased for a while about that night.
Since then, I have looked at it from another angle. No, I didn't start going out searching for younger men, but I did look at it from the double standard that is often perpetuated over and over again by societal norms. I started to look at the examples of men and womyn who date younger people and the names that are often associated with those who do. And what I found out really pissed me off.
Men who date younger womyn are often known as "studs", "the man", "lucky" (these are only a few of the terms used) while womyn who date younger men are often called "pumas", "cradle robber", "wolverine" and the all famous "cougar". Of course there are worse terminology for both, but I must point out that for the most part that men get called better terms than womyn. What gives? Why doesn't societal norms see Donald Trump (who is known for marrying young womyn) as a Cougar too? Why is he "the man"?
Did I mention that double standards piss me off? Well, so does ageism. So I again went to my research board and started to look why I thought age mattered in dating and in marriage, etc. I began to challenge my own thoughts as it pertained to what I grew up with. As you will note in my previous blog, age is only a number that is given to us to show our chronological age and nothing more (if at that). So what's the big deal then about dating people younger than yourself I yelled out to the universe?
It started simple enough this cougar status: when I started dating again (I was married and he happened to be an older man - didn't pan out but not because of age) I didn't focus on age but on how that person made me feel. Age wasn't a conversation piece until the second date and only then as a conversation piece to move around and not a deal breaker. And I certainly did not go looking for younger men to date. I like men no matter what age; I don't discriminate....lol Hey, I live with 4 dogs and 3 young adults still in the house so I am happy getting out with anyone these days!
And because I don't discriminate, I get called plenty of names by friends and people around me in regards to my dating younger men. Oh they joke at it, but I know they can't see past the "age" norm as they don't want to see past the false truths, they don't see that the animal from which I got my nickname is a strong being that takes care of family, that will do anything to protect family, is an excellent hunter and a survivor, is fast and agile and an intellect to be matched only by other like beings. I am all that too minus the fast part! I run but not as fast as a cougar (oh how I wish!) I might also add that my intellect comes out only if it has to, like in university settings and debates where the written word of English is questionable (scrabble is such one place...lol). For the most part, it lays dormant only coming out when it has to...hahahahaha Okay, I jest.
So, that is the story behind it all. I play with the "Cougar" status and why not; life is to short to let one perception of age dictate who you will love and why. I date men not age and I am certainly not a pervert or cradle robber. And while I really don't like Donald Trump (the man drives me bananas), he is a great example of double standards,(not only for age but other things as well) in the world upon which we live. He teaches us how not to be and that is a good thing.
Carrianne
I didn't start off that way; not as a cougar. As you can see from my picture on the left, I was a cute, little pumpkin sitter. Okay, I was a pumpkin sitter who showed signs of rebellion from an early age, why else would I be sitting on a pumpkin! Well, I could give many reasons, but I was always known, even from birth, as the odd one out, the one who had to follow her own path and blaze a trail of fire behind it.
As an adult that didn't go away; the need to blaze my own path and create fire. I know I don't like to do what everyone else is doing and have often been called a shit disturber (and some other not so nice terms) because of this. The best one so far that describes me to a tee is one that was provided to me by a healer - a Windigo Kaan ( a contrary).
Contraries are needed in the world to provide balance. We ask questions when others don't, we do things that others find strange and in what we do, we bring out the truths in what others take for a truth but are really false. We show that there are other ways other than the one that they always see. Sometimes it works out in our favour being a contrary but most of the time, others see us as the shit disturber who won't leave well enough alone. People like societal norms; heaven forbid you mess with societal norms! (I hope no one starts to shoot stones at me now for saying that....like really?) People often don't want to see the truth and get really upset if you show it to them. Hey, we are only being who we were born to be, don't get mad at us please....okay get mad but then do something about it.
Anyway, on with my story. I was in a bar with my niece one night (I don't drink but I do like to go out and dance), and this young man comes up to me and asks me if I want to go with him. I look at him and say I don't want to go out with him but he is persistent and a wee bit drunk. After numerous attempts to sway him, I finally say "Hey buddy, I am old enough to be your mother". He laughs and says I am not. I respond by telling him that I am 38 years old and he looked a grand total of 19. He denies I am 38 and says to prove it. So out comes my proof; my handy dandy drivers' license that tells people my true age (like it is the bible of age..lol). He looks at it and says "NO, it can't be!" Aha! Yes it can be! Thinking that this new truth will set me free from him, he turns to me and says "That's okay, I like older womyn anyway". Really? Really now? So I respond the only way I know how "Well, you may like older womyn, but I don't like babysitting, sorry". And from there it started, well, it took off from there. No, I did not go out with the young man, but I did get teased for a while about that night.
Since then, I have looked at it from another angle. No, I didn't start going out searching for younger men, but I did look at it from the double standard that is often perpetuated over and over again by societal norms. I started to look at the examples of men and womyn who date younger people and the names that are often associated with those who do. And what I found out really pissed me off.
Men who date younger womyn are often known as "studs", "the man", "lucky" (these are only a few of the terms used) while womyn who date younger men are often called "pumas", "cradle robber", "wolverine" and the all famous "cougar". Of course there are worse terminology for both, but I must point out that for the most part that men get called better terms than womyn. What gives? Why doesn't societal norms see Donald Trump (who is known for marrying young womyn) as a Cougar too? Why is he "the man"?
Did I mention that double standards piss me off? Well, so does ageism. So I again went to my research board and started to look why I thought age mattered in dating and in marriage, etc. I began to challenge my own thoughts as it pertained to what I grew up with. As you will note in my previous blog, age is only a number that is given to us to show our chronological age and nothing more (if at that). So what's the big deal then about dating people younger than yourself I yelled out to the universe?
And because I don't discriminate, I get called plenty of names by friends and people around me in regards to my dating younger men. Oh they joke at it, but I know they can't see past the "age" norm as they don't want to see past the false truths, they don't see that the animal from which I got my nickname is a strong being that takes care of family, that will do anything to protect family, is an excellent hunter and a survivor, is fast and agile and an intellect to be matched only by other like beings. I am all that too minus the fast part! I run but not as fast as a cougar (oh how I wish!) I might also add that my intellect comes out only if it has to, like in university settings and debates where the written word of English is questionable (scrabble is such one place...lol). For the most part, it lays dormant only coming out when it has to...hahahahaha Okay, I jest.
So, that is the story behind it all. I play with the "Cougar" status and why not; life is to short to let one perception of age dictate who you will love and why. I date men not age and I am certainly not a pervert or cradle robber. And while I really don't like Donald Trump (the man drives me bananas), he is a great example of double standards,(not only for age but other things as well) in the world upon which we live. He teaches us how not to be and that is a good thing.
Carrianne
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