Age has nothing to do with it.

When I was younger, maybe around 14 or 15 years of age, I posed a question to my mother about age.  I asked her what it felt like to be 35 years old; how did that "age" feel? She responded by saying "I feel like I am 35 years old". Not satisfied with her response as it didn't answer my question, I asked again (because I am just that persistent).  She again responded that she felt like she was 35 years old and that I should stop asking her the same question.  I was disappointed and went outside to hang out with nature but I never did let go of finding the answer to my question on age.

Many years later, I came upon my answer to the question I first posed to my mother all those years ago.  Age, it appears, is just a number that tells us how long we have been living, but it doesn't tell us how we should feel or act while we are doing that living.  I am 46 years old as of writing this blog, and like I did last year and the years before, I don't "feel" or "act" like I am 46 years old as I have no idea what a 46 year old feels or acts like.  Is there a manual that says you will feel and act a certain way at each age? Well there is kind of one and that is known as Societal Norms....good gawd say it isn't so!

 I often hear from family, friends and acquaintances that I don't act my age.  Okay, really, who the heck wants to act an "age"?  If I get to "act" an age can I at least act out one that I want to have fun with?  I think I shall be 22 years old today and try out surfing on the snow! Oh, that would be some fun now wouldn't it!! But lets' get back to acting and feeling an age.

Sure, my body tells me that I am a little slower at getting up and that my joints aren't as happy as they once were when I was younger, but I don't think that ageing has to take all the credit for that; my disease has part to play in it and the choices I made at various stages in my life (some a little risky with side effects that would wait until I started growing through adulthood to show up - those buggers!!).  And those wrinkles; well they show that life is moving as it should.  Yes, I would love to have less wrinkles, but then I wouldn't see myself changing as I grow and each day makes me curious as to what I will grow into.  I often look at myself in the mirror and envision what I will look like 10 or 15 years from now.  I liken it to a caterpillar changing; you never know what you will look like until you open up to the change and be the butterfly in the end that you were meant to be.  So fascinating it is this ageing/growing!

So back to "feeling" and "acting" an age; the answer I was searching for with my mother is that you don't feel an age, that your mind stays the same as when you were growing up only it knows more just as your body shows it knows more too.  I feel like I did when I was 16 years old as my mind was just as sharp and aware then and it is now.  Yes, I have grown in my mind through all the experiences and education that I have moved through in the years since, yet I still feel like that teenager who went through life with zeal and curiosity about the world.  I play a lot and enjoy laughing at my often ridiculous situations.  I move all the time; running and being part of the environment any way I can helps me stay active and allows me to grow through the ageing process a bit more gracefully than others.  I don't think we are any age but the one we move ourselves out of (if that makes any sense at all).

I will have to add that a pet peeve of mine are people who believe age has something to do with how you should behave in your own life and in the world (boy people are pushy telling you how to live your life).  If I hear one more person say "act your age" or "date someone your age", I will spit on them! Oh I wish I would do that, yet even as I write it, I know I would love to do it but I won't as I am not a camel (a northern ojibwe cougar yes, but not a camel...hahahaha). Ageism is alive and well in Societal norms and we would do well to move away from those norms and just live.

Living a life without age following you at every moment is how the butterfly opens up from the caterpillar and flies off to new and wondrous adventures; age, it appears, has nothing to do with it.

Carrianne