loving self and gratitude

Last night as I was having a bath I reached down to my toes and started to caress them and rub the soreness out of them as the relaxed under the water.  As I was doing this, caressing my feet, I started to talk to them.  Yep, I talk to my body on a daily basis but sometimes I don't get the chance to focus on one area to much; last night I did.  I told my feet that I was grateful to them for supporting me in all that I did that day which is often a big feat (pun intended!) given I do a lot in one day.  By the way, I have size 9 feet which I believe make me a good runner as the bigger feet cover more ground support (well that is my logic anyway...lol).  A few years back my youngest sister (5 years younger) decided to tag along with me for the day.  By noon she asked me to drive her home as she was tired and wanted to have a nap. She could not understand how I could still function for the rest of the day and still have energy; the energiser cougar (not bunny) I am!  Yep, grateful that my feet support me. 

My feet also ensure that I am planted firmly upon the ground; that teaches me to humble myself on a daily basis.  If I am not planted on the ground, if I cannot feel the earth beneath me, then I can easily think I am above the ground and that is not good.  I need a reminder at times that I am not the only being upon this earth and that I am no better or less than any being.  So talking to my feet, letting them know how truly grateful I am that they do so much for me, only seems natural.  

And while I believe our body parts work in unison with each other I also know that they are separate from each other at times.  I suppose you may think or believe I am strange or eccentric or just plain off the wall, but let's think about it for a while.  Each part of us has a purpose separate from the other, yet each part works with the other to maximise their function. So my thanking my feet will lead to me thanking my legs and so on, creating a balance within myself.  And when I am balanced, I love my self. 

Loving ourselves is perhaps one of the hardest things to do.  I struggle on a daily basis to love who I am, to love what my body does and looks like while doing it.  And I know I am not alone in this struggle as Society has created a place that confuses self and love on a regular basis. To add to this thought, many years ago I was teaching a course on women's body and health and had an assignment for my class to do at the end of their evening long after they had finished work and the business of the day.  I told my class that they were to set aside some time for themselves where they were to caress their body starting with their feet and moving up.  I asked them to talk to their bodies, either in their mind or out loud, and thank the parts they were caressing for what they gave them.  They could either massage their body with lotion or without; it was their choice.  They were to write down what they experienced and we were to discuss it in class the following week.  Some of my students looked at me like I was out of my mind, but off they went. Maybe I was out of my mind, but we should all try to get out of our mind on a regular basis!

The following week as they were sitting in class, many of them admitted that it was difficult for them to touch themselves, even if it was to just thank their body for being there for them.  While there were different reasons and circumstances why this was difficult (residential school, sexual abuse as a child/adult, etc)  they still did it.  And in the process of thanking themselves, they opened the door to loving who they currently were; the wrinkles, the age spots, the stretch marks from having children, the scars that bore a story of their endurance and strength within the world.  It was awesome! Since that day, I try to do this exercise when ever I get the chance especially if I have had a bad day.  While it is nice to get comfort from others it is important to note that we can boost ourselves when no one is around or available. We can be that touch of support for ourselves, that contact of a being that we need in low moments of time and it all starts with a caress and gratitude.  

In saying the above, I by no means dismiss the need for supports of others especially if someone is depressed, suicidal, has a mental health disorder, etc.  Gratitude and loving self as a way of coping and understanding is but one tool to add to ones' toolbox that should also contain supports, programs, medicines, etc. that one can reach into at moment's time to fix what we need to be whole again.

Miigwech, I hope my stories help you in some way today.

Carrianne